Fuck my life

So here I am on a normal Saturday night... aw fuck, it's Friday. Anyway, I'm home, reading Technical manuals so that I may better educate myself. Education is important. Why I had sex with your mother is not.

Anyway, I decide to take a break and watch a movie. Potluck. Put out by High Times, I figured despite the bad reviews, I would buy it because A) It was only like $3 and B) It has Jason Mewes in it. The reviews were correct. This movie sucks donkey balls.

After a brief phone conversation with my mother, I've decided it's time to have a beer. Now before you all condemn me for having a problem with liquor, keep in mind, fuck yourselves. That said, I can honestly say I would do a commercial endorsing Dogfish Head for free.

Where was I?? Oh yeah, so I'm home alone on a Friday, and why? Cause women are out of their gawdamn minds. Well, that and it's balls cold out. I hate winter. I have no idea why I still live where it's cold. No clue. None. Perhaps I'm stupid. It could just be the Midwest, but let me see if I can predict the personality of EVERY 18 - 35 year old woman you will meet in the Heartland of America.

Believes in god and "should go to church more"

Has a lower back tatoo - usually something lame like a butterfly, fairy, or flowers of some sort.

Never speaks of meeting the right person as a goal always wants to get married "someday"

Taste in music and movies is dictated by MTV/ Pop Radio

Has either a cat or dog that's smaller than a cat

Doesn't exercise and borderline has an eating disorder

Likes reality TV

Went to college for Elementary Education, Speech Pathology, Psychology or Communication, just because they didn't want to take any Math. Because, you know, it's hard!

Has a bullshit job, likely due to the worthless degree

Has a bullshit job, and can't understand why they aren't advancing.

Won't take any training or further their education because they got their degree - they're done learning!

Family is very important to them - BONUS: Never married with kid(s) - the kid(s) "are their world"

I can go on and on, but I think you get the point.

I totally forgot where I was going with this. I think I'm going to have another beer and listen to Pink Floyd.

Fuck my life.